So much stuff to do so little time. Memorial Day weekend is supposed to be the weekend when you kick back and just go with the flow. Unfortunately I had a different direction to go then where the flow was taking me. I had a ton of grad parties to go to, and all of my end of the year homework that still isn't done. This is when time management really comes in handy.
With all of this stuff going on I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm missing something. I go through every day with this constant nagging at the back of my mind. I really can't figure it out. When I'm doing stuff actually I'm fine, but when I'm just sitting at a grad party or at home, my mind fills with this feeling.
I really can't even describe it. It's a feeling of being overwhelmed and a feeling of total helplessness. That's another reason school needs to get over, because I think school is somehow at the bottom of this feeling I have. If I have to deal with this much longer I think I might go insane. I'm afraid that this week I'm just going to have a meltdown, and it's not going to be pretty.
So I'm done complaining now. I'll just continue to bottle it up. No, just kidding, I think the technical term for it is Senioritis, and I have it bad.
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Have You Ever Noticed?
Have you ever stayed awake all night? I assume if you have that it was with a friend. Well when you were staying up with that friend did you just sit down and talk? Because I've noticed that when I'm sleep deprived I turn into a philosopher. I don't know why, whenever I try to be after a good nights sleep I end up feeling stupid. Why?!?!
I think the answer lies in the way our brains work. I don't pretend to be an expert on the workings of the human brain, but seeing how I have one, I think I'm allowed to speculate. I think that when you're tired your brain actually thinks more clearly because it isn't overloaded with all of the activity of the day. Your brain and your body are at ease. When you're tired I think that your brain is closer to the dream world than it is to reality, and this translates into seeing into the "great mysterious beyond," where all of the secrets of the universe are revealed.
It's not just while you're talking with your friends either. I've found that I write better blogs while I'm tired. Some of them plain suck but others have a sort of mysterious quality to them, like, what was I thinking about when I wrote this blog? It truly is a mystery that's worth studying. Maybe my boy Fred could add his input on the matter.
I think the answer lies in the way our brains work. I don't pretend to be an expert on the workings of the human brain, but seeing how I have one, I think I'm allowed to speculate. I think that when you're tired your brain actually thinks more clearly because it isn't overloaded with all of the activity of the day. Your brain and your body are at ease. When you're tired I think that your brain is closer to the dream world than it is to reality, and this translates into seeing into the "great mysterious beyond," where all of the secrets of the universe are revealed.
It's not just while you're talking with your friends either. I've found that I write better blogs while I'm tired. Some of them plain suck but others have a sort of mysterious quality to them, like, what was I thinking about when I wrote this blog? It truly is a mystery that's worth studying. Maybe my boy Fred could add his input on the matter.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I've been wondering for awhile if it would be possible to write an entire blog in the title. And it looks like it is so here I go. It's not going to b
Looks like that's all the farther you can get. Darn. Oh well I'll finish the boring way. I have anger issues. Wow that was to the point. I've had it since I was little, the only thing that has changed is that I can now suppress my seething hatred of others when I get pissed off. When I was a kid and annoyed the tiniest thing would set me off. I'd see a kid walking and laughing, I'd get angry and hit him with a rock. He would usually cry to an adult and I would gladly pay the consequences, cuz quite frankly I didn't give a @&!^. I have since come to terms with the fact that there is a name for those like me: asshole. That's me, but now, while I still don't care if I am one or not, I realized you can't make it if you are one. Go figure. So I'm changing my ways. Maturity has been the biggest help in fixing my problem. Some of the people who know me reading this right now are saying to themselves, "He is not mature at all, " but if only they knew what I have to do in order not to verbally tear their head off every time I get really cheesed off. And so I don't dig my hole that much deeper I'm just going to end this post.
P.S. your opinion doesn't matter to me, so don't bother with a comment on this post.
P.S. your opinion doesn't matter to me, so don't bother with a comment on this post.
Internet Diary
Blogs whether we want to admit it or not are forms journals, it's a diary. Blogging a thing you do to convey your feelings about this or that aka a diary. But this diary is a huge reach from the conventional lock and key notebook you find hidden under a teen's bed. It's the most public place anyone could record things about there life short of sending a mass e-mail. So why do we do it?
I think before you answer that question you need to understand the way we function as a society. We all want our information now. Practically no one has the time, or patience to wait five minutes anymore. The Internet meets and feeds this growing addiction. Also without offending anyone I'd like to address the rebel in all of us. Everyone has a need to be noticed and the need to express one's self. Some of us bottle it up, others show it in our outward appearance, and still others find a comfortable medium. The last is where I think bloggers fit in. Now if you're a blogger and I've completely missed you, maybe you're a phenomenon, or maybe you just aren't human.
Blogging is a way to do both at the same time, and since it is in such a public place naturally there will be tons of people who flock to it. If you look at blogs the majority of them are peoples feelings, the reason I don't want to say all is that there is always the one or two exceptions. It's such a personal thing as well. You can read a persons blog, preferably one of there rants and say to yourself, "Yea I think I get know that person now." I don't know if This is just me but when I write a blog I feel like it is really good at the time but then when I go back and read it later I think wow i must have been in a bad mood or wow I was not awake at all when I wrote that. When you write in the heat of the moment you're bound to make mistakes, I think I'm one of the biggest offenders. I've gone back and spell checked some of my blogs and you would think I never passed third grade English. But there is also something immensely satisfying about putting you feelings into words. Putting your frustration or anger into an 800 word rant makes you feel good afterward.
Sure there are dry times when all you can think is what the hell am I going to blog about now, but an idea always comes to the rescue and the words flow on to the Internet with ease. This has been fun, but I think I may have rambled a bit there in middle. My apologies. Happy blogging.
I think before you answer that question you need to understand the way we function as a society. We all want our information now. Practically no one has the time, or patience to wait five minutes anymore. The Internet meets and feeds this growing addiction. Also without offending anyone I'd like to address the rebel in all of us. Everyone has a need to be noticed and the need to express one's self. Some of us bottle it up, others show it in our outward appearance, and still others find a comfortable medium. The last is where I think bloggers fit in. Now if you're a blogger and I've completely missed you, maybe you're a phenomenon, or maybe you just aren't human.
Blogging is a way to do both at the same time, and since it is in such a public place naturally there will be tons of people who flock to it. If you look at blogs the majority of them are peoples feelings, the reason I don't want to say all is that there is always the one or two exceptions. It's such a personal thing as well. You can read a persons blog, preferably one of there rants and say to yourself, "Yea I think I get know that person now." I don't know if This is just me but when I write a blog I feel like it is really good at the time but then when I go back and read it later I think wow i must have been in a bad mood or wow I was not awake at all when I wrote that. When you write in the heat of the moment you're bound to make mistakes, I think I'm one of the biggest offenders. I've gone back and spell checked some of my blogs and you would think I never passed third grade English. But there is also something immensely satisfying about putting you feelings into words. Putting your frustration or anger into an 800 word rant makes you feel good afterward.
Sure there are dry times when all you can think is what the hell am I going to blog about now, but an idea always comes to the rescue and the words flow on to the Internet with ease. This has been fun, but I think I may have rambled a bit there in middle. My apologies. Happy blogging.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Uneding Frontier
Music might not be the "final frontier," but it sure is the infinite frontier. If you think that music has reached it's full potential, you are, quite frankly, an idiot. Do you think that back during the Renaissance, the great thinkers, and innovators of culture thought they were the end of evolution? Not a chance they knew that someday more great thinkers would come along and repeat the process all over again.
Just think of all the different styles of music there are, and then think of all the sub- genres there are. Wow, I'm with ya, that's a lot, and I know it's hard to believe that there are an infinite amount more out there just waiting to be thought of.
Back in the time when symphonies were in there prime do you think that people had any concept of Hip-hop? No, which is why you can't dismiss the fact that out there are many more styles of music waiting to be born. I just hope that it happens again in my life time, that the next big thing in music is thought of and put to action. Even if I'm an old senile man and I am too pig headed to appreciate the new music I will somewhere inside of myself be honored to have witnessed it.
I feel like I'm not putting my wonder at this concept into words well enough. Which is the curse of putting thoughts to words I think. Oh well I'll let my thoughts simmer until I'm overcome with the way to inform the masses.
Just think of all the different styles of music there are, and then think of all the sub- genres there are. Wow, I'm with ya, that's a lot, and I know it's hard to believe that there are an infinite amount more out there just waiting to be thought of.
Back in the time when symphonies were in there prime do you think that people had any concept of Hip-hop? No, which is why you can't dismiss the fact that out there are many more styles of music waiting to be born. I just hope that it happens again in my life time, that the next big thing in music is thought of and put to action. Even if I'm an old senile man and I am too pig headed to appreciate the new music I will somewhere inside of myself be honored to have witnessed it.
I feel like I'm not putting my wonder at this concept into words well enough. Which is the curse of putting thoughts to words I think. Oh well I'll let my thoughts simmer until I'm overcome with the way to inform the masses.
The Art of Deceit
You learn it at a very young age. Lying is a skill, learned by most at the age of three or four. I was recently watching my younger cousins having a wrestling match. One got angry that his sister was beating him so he found the nearest toy and hit her on the head with it. Now she's very tough for a nine year old (something I attribute to myself as a "bully" cousin), but this was too much for her. She started crying. My uncle, who had been watching the whole time, asked my cousin in an angry father voice why he hit her. My cousin, on the verge of tears himself at the prospect of getting in trouble did what any kid does, he lied. Even though he knew that he was caught he insisted on lying through his teeth.
Why is this? That a six year old kid can lie so readily and obviously to his father who had just seen him commit this crime. I blame society. One can't survive in modern society without knowing how to lie. Politicians get paid to do it, and every day I feel our moral nobleness slipping away from our filthy hands.
I feel like there is nothing to be done about the problem, and at this I despair. It has become fatally intertwined with our lives that if taken away would be comparable to removing our pancreas. I'm not ashamed to admit that I lie as readily as the next guy, which might be part of the problem. We aren't even ashamed of it anymore. A man's word used to be important to him than his life. Now most people would stab their closest friend in the back and lose their honor than lose their selfish life.
I'm deeply saddened by the current condition of the human race, and I despair that the course we're going will lead to a fatal end, sooner rather than later. To whoever is listening if you have ideas to reform put them into action, and soon! I don't mean to sound so ominously cheesy, but the fate of the human race depends on it.
Why is this? That a six year old kid can lie so readily and obviously to his father who had just seen him commit this crime. I blame society. One can't survive in modern society without knowing how to lie. Politicians get paid to do it, and every day I feel our moral nobleness slipping away from our filthy hands.
I feel like there is nothing to be done about the problem, and at this I despair. It has become fatally intertwined with our lives that if taken away would be comparable to removing our pancreas. I'm not ashamed to admit that I lie as readily as the next guy, which might be part of the problem. We aren't even ashamed of it anymore. A man's word used to be important to him than his life. Now most people would stab their closest friend in the back and lose their honor than lose their selfish life.
I'm deeply saddened by the current condition of the human race, and I despair that the course we're going will lead to a fatal end, sooner rather than later. To whoever is listening if you have ideas to reform put them into action, and soon! I don't mean to sound so ominously cheesy, but the fate of the human race depends on it.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
War
My view on war was always that it was people I didn't know killing more people I didn't know. I believe that war is a cruel necessity of humanity. It's very unfortunate that we are what we are, but at our base we're all animals fighting to survive. That's getting off the subject though. The reason I believe that war is inevitable is that overpopulation causes a very old human survival instinct to kick in. Think about it. We've expanded to the point that there aren't anymore places to settle on the earth. But wait you might be saying to yourself, people back in ancient times warred among themselves, and they hadn't settled everywhere. Yes they did, because they felt claustrophobic, and the world that they knew had been settled to the brim. The wars were all over gaining territory so that the masses could expand, and the ones who died in the war just made for more breathing room.
When we go to war there is always some noble excuse behind it to make us all feel better. No one wants to believe that their son, daughter, siblings, or grandchildren are going to die just so they can live more comfortably.
As a modern society, we shun our animal side and we also disguise all of the animal things we do with pretty words and sugar. And I think that this sad fact will lead to our eventual, but not completely inevitable downfall. If we do not, as a whole accept and embrace who we truly are, we're all doomed to be wiped from the face of the earth.
When we go to war there is always some noble excuse behind it to make us all feel better. No one wants to believe that their son, daughter, siblings, or grandchildren are going to die just so they can live more comfortably.
As a modern society, we shun our animal side and we also disguise all of the animal things we do with pretty words and sugar. And I think that this sad fact will lead to our eventual, but not completely inevitable downfall. If we do not, as a whole accept and embrace who we truly are, we're all doomed to be wiped from the face of the earth.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
My View on Euthanasia
Until recently my family owned a horse by the name of Yukon. He had white fur and was pretty chunky for a horse, but he was content. He might have been a little lonely at times, but he had a donkey as a neighbor, and the two of them would converse from across the street. My dad always liked to say that our neighbor is an ass.
Well anyways not too long ago we started to have a few problems with Yukon. His condition over the past year and a half had slowly worsened. He started getting sores all over his body, and he had difficulty standing up after he had lain down. In the end of his life he couldn't stand at all. It's a sad state for such a noble animal to be reduced to, and yet here he was.
My mom called the vet to see if he could fix the situation. I knew that the horse wasn't going to live through the night, but being so attached to something can sometimes cloud your sense of reason. I opposed calling the vet, for two reasons. One, I don't really trust them, they take your money for the most mundane things and it makes me sick. Two, I think the idea of letting a stranger kill one of your animals is cruelty in it's most basic form. Think about it, by not doing the "job" yourself, you're admitting to yourself that the animals life had been worthless and that it isn't worth you getting your hands dirty over. In my opinion it is the right thing to, one not let an animal in suffering go on suffering, and two, to look that animal in the eye with confidence, and sadness and show it that it's life had been worth living, before you end it's life. And I'm sure the vet did not do the second one, that costs extra.
Some would say that it's a sign of ruthlessness to kill an animal, that if one belongs to our higher society they should not participate in the act. But it seems to me that in our attempt to become a more noble or "high" society we have severely failed.
It turned out I was right. Yukon was put down while I was at show choir practise. It cost my mom $150 to have him killed, and another $500 to have his remains disposed of. Highway robbery is what it is. He was missed and even though I told my mom I didn't want to say goodbye, at two o'clock, when everyone was a sleep I snuck down and payed my respects to the poor animal, whose life, in my mom's opinion, had not meant anything.
Well anyways not too long ago we started to have a few problems with Yukon. His condition over the past year and a half had slowly worsened. He started getting sores all over his body, and he had difficulty standing up after he had lain down. In the end of his life he couldn't stand at all. It's a sad state for such a noble animal to be reduced to, and yet here he was.
My mom called the vet to see if he could fix the situation. I knew that the horse wasn't going to live through the night, but being so attached to something can sometimes cloud your sense of reason. I opposed calling the vet, for two reasons. One, I don't really trust them, they take your money for the most mundane things and it makes me sick. Two, I think the idea of letting a stranger kill one of your animals is cruelty in it's most basic form. Think about it, by not doing the "job" yourself, you're admitting to yourself that the animals life had been worthless and that it isn't worth you getting your hands dirty over. In my opinion it is the right thing to, one not let an animal in suffering go on suffering, and two, to look that animal in the eye with confidence, and sadness and show it that it's life had been worth living, before you end it's life. And I'm sure the vet did not do the second one, that costs extra.
Some would say that it's a sign of ruthlessness to kill an animal, that if one belongs to our higher society they should not participate in the act. But it seems to me that in our attempt to become a more noble or "high" society we have severely failed.
It turned out I was right. Yukon was put down while I was at show choir practise. It cost my mom $150 to have him killed, and another $500 to have his remains disposed of. Highway robbery is what it is. He was missed and even though I told my mom I didn't want to say goodbye, at two o'clock, when everyone was a sleep I snuck down and payed my respects to the poor animal, whose life, in my mom's opinion, had not meant anything.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Life Lesson #1
Have you ever been sitting somewhere quite and just let your mind wonder through the plains of consciousness with no bounds? I recently had the opportunity to do just that. Laying in my bed I was wondering over various philosophical topics and I landed on one that got my attention.
I realised that my dad had lived almost three of my lives in his one life. I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around this fact. How long my life has seemed up until now. I tried to imagine what it would be like if I was triple my age, and for the life of me I couldn't do it. What a horribly fascinating thing to think about. My train of thought was inevitably drawn to the memories of my impatience. How idiotic I must have seemed waiting in line for the movie theater for ten minutes, getting angry because I had to wait. I felt like such an ass for being so naive. I remember my dad trying to teach me this exact lesson and having it go in one ear and right out the other.
When I approached my dad to tell him about my revelation he seemed proud that I had gotten that lesson at such a young age. He told me that he wished he would have realised that at my age. I'm not going to say that I'll never get impatient again, because saying that would just be stupid. But maybe when I'm waiting in that line, or doing something I don't want to do I'll have the ability to step back and look at the situation in this new way.
Hey this isn't so bad, it's just ten minutes out of my life. It's just a drop in the bucket. After this I'll be doing something that I actually want to. And those are the ones to enjoy and remember.
To all the young 'uns, I'm right there with ya. Part of the instant gratification generation. Please though, take this lesson to heart.
I realised that my dad had lived almost three of my lives in his one life. I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around this fact. How long my life has seemed up until now. I tried to imagine what it would be like if I was triple my age, and for the life of me I couldn't do it. What a horribly fascinating thing to think about. My train of thought was inevitably drawn to the memories of my impatience. How idiotic I must have seemed waiting in line for the movie theater for ten minutes, getting angry because I had to wait. I felt like such an ass for being so naive. I remember my dad trying to teach me this exact lesson and having it go in one ear and right out the other.
When I approached my dad to tell him about my revelation he seemed proud that I had gotten that lesson at such a young age. He told me that he wished he would have realised that at my age. I'm not going to say that I'll never get impatient again, because saying that would just be stupid. But maybe when I'm waiting in that line, or doing something I don't want to do I'll have the ability to step back and look at the situation in this new way.
Hey this isn't so bad, it's just ten minutes out of my life. It's just a drop in the bucket. After this I'll be doing something that I actually want to. And those are the ones to enjoy and remember.
To all the young 'uns, I'm right there with ya. Part of the instant gratification generation. Please though, take this lesson to heart.
Friday, December 26, 2008
TV
People love their TVs. It's ridiculous. We build shrines to them in our living rooms, we have family meals around them, and we even have the nerve to call watching TV, a "family bonding experience." I want all of the TVs to spontaneously explode. It would probably send our nation into chaos, but who cares it would fix our problem. Wait no it wouldn't because they would just make more. Okay so the "TV making factories" can explode too.
The stuff on TV isn't even good half the time anyways. It's all filth designed to make us soft and unresponsive so China can take over, but seriously something needs to change because our future is looking very bleak indeed.
Nation I'm begging you, get off your asses and do something. You want to know why you're fat? You can blame it on you "genes" all you want, but if you really want to know I'll tell you. It's because you are a lazy couch potato, and you sit on your fat ass all day and do nothing. Good day sir!
The stuff on TV isn't even good half the time anyways. It's all filth designed to make us soft and unresponsive so China can take over, but seriously something needs to change because our future is looking very bleak indeed.
Nation I'm begging you, get off your asses and do something. You want to know why you're fat? You can blame it on you "genes" all you want, but if you really want to know I'll tell you. It's because you are a lazy couch potato, and you sit on your fat ass all day and do nothing. Good day sir!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Random Humor
So people know why he's walking away.
The new war plan.
Mace Windu was reincarnated into a squirrel.
Why babies don't endorse Taco Bell.
The bulls are taking a head stand on bull fights.
Only in America My friends
Babies for Barack Obama. Piss on the status quo.
We are Sparta!!!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The Fatal Disease
Life is the best and the worst disease we all have, and nobody makes it out alive. You spent your whole life slowly but surely proceeding to your death. You don't think of it every waking moment of the day, nor should you. If you spend your whole life thinking of your death you miss out on all of the things that make life what it is. I recently had two great aunts pass away. I didn't know them really well, and I was only affected by their death by the fact that my parents went to the funeral without me. It did however get me thinking about life and death. I wondered if they had both lived full lives full of all the wonderful and terrible experiences that coincide with one another.After the funerals my dad said that he was going to miss them both a lot. I knew then that anyone who could leave just one person behind that would miss them then they had lived a life worth living.
With all of the new medicine and things that help you live longer that the people on TV talk about, people think they'll live forever. Really they're just delaying the inevitable. And even if you could live forever, why would you want to? Do they want to be a broken pod of a person laying in bed with a tube shoved down there nose forever? Because that my friends is not living.
The fatal, incurable disease, is not such a bad thing, it's life. And those who have experienced it to its fullest will tell you that it's worth every second.
With all of the new medicine and things that help you live longer that the people on TV talk about, people think they'll live forever. Really they're just delaying the inevitable. And even if you could live forever, why would you want to? Do they want to be a broken pod of a person laying in bed with a tube shoved down there nose forever? Because that my friends is not living.
The fatal, incurable disease, is not such a bad thing, it's life. And those who have experienced it to its fullest will tell you that it's worth every second.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Messy Busniess
Ten deer total. We took them to the meat locker today to be prossesed. On the way there farmers would honk at us to congratulate us on killing some "damn corn eaters" as they know them. When we stop at a gas station and one guy commented that we,
"shoulda just kept shooting."
We got to the locker and there were tons of people there with their share of the harvest. None of them had as many as we did, the one only one who came closest was a guy who had six. People walked up to our truck and would ask, "How many ya got in there? Five, six?" and we'd reply, "Nope, we got ten of em," and they'd walk away with their tails tucked saftly between their legs.
We pulled around back to drop the deer off to the sturdy men manning the sharp blades and hack saws. One guy would pull a deer off the truck, then another would make two presise cuts and the head would forever be detached from it's owner. Meanwhil the guy witht the hack saw would take all four legs off in about eight seconds.
The whole process took only fifteen minutes, and by the time they were done, everyone had blood on their hands, and there were ten headless, legless deer on the ground waiting to be drug inside. That was the end of that, and behind us there were ten trucks in line. These guy were gonna have a long day. We wished them good luck and we were on our way.
"shoulda just kept shooting."
We got to the locker and there were tons of people there with their share of the harvest. None of them had as many as we did, the one only one who came closest was a guy who had six. People walked up to our truck and would ask, "How many ya got in there? Five, six?" and we'd reply, "Nope, we got ten of em," and they'd walk away with their tails tucked saftly between their legs.
We pulled around back to drop the deer off to the sturdy men manning the sharp blades and hack saws. One guy would pull a deer off the truck, then another would make two presise cuts and the head would forever be detached from it's owner. Meanwhil the guy witht the hack saw would take all four legs off in about eight seconds.
The whole process took only fifteen minutes, and by the time they were done, everyone had blood on their hands, and there were ten headless, legless deer on the ground waiting to be drug inside. That was the end of that, and behind us there were ten trucks in line. These guy were gonna have a long day. We wished them good luck and we were on our way.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Opinions
My dad always says: "Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one." I just want to revise this quote a little. Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one and you don't have to know how it works to use yours. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. People who spit out opinions and support them with bogus evidence. I've heard people back opinions with stupid evidence that I could just as easily turn around on them and make them look stupid.
The worst part is it's not just regular people who do it. Journalists who write opinion columns piss me off. Sure some of them are knowledgeable, but not all of them are. I read an article this week where the writer said that computers were originally meant to replace paper but since our nation is so wasteful our country's paper consumption has doubled since computers were introduced. But then I saw a study that was published that said how paper was such an essential part of the modern work place, and that instead of replacing paper computers must coexist with it.
Just goes to show even proffesionals have stupid opinions sometimes. Do me and the world a favor everyone, keep your opinions to yorself.
The worst part is it's not just regular people who do it. Journalists who write opinion columns piss me off. Sure some of them are knowledgeable, but not all of them are. I read an article this week where the writer said that computers were originally meant to replace paper but since our nation is so wasteful our country's paper consumption has doubled since computers were introduced. But then I saw a study that was published that said how paper was such an essential part of the modern work place, and that instead of replacing paper computers must coexist with it.
Just goes to show even proffesionals have stupid opinions sometimes. Do me and the world a favor everyone, keep your opinions to yorself.
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