Looking Forward

With all of the grad parties, and all of my friends leaving for college or the military, I've really started to think of my own venture out in to the real world. It's a scary thing to think about for me. Everything that has held me down, and more or less controlled my life will be gone in a year. Sometimes I try to picture myself after college, and I can't do it. Who knows what I'll go through, and what kind of person I'll be because of it.

I don't know how I'll handle not having all of the rules to follow that I do now. What if I can't handle it? What if I get into bad stuff? So many what ifs fill my head that it's hard to think straight anymore. I'm reasoning with myself that I'll do fine. I'll have plenty of studying to do to fill my time. Also I know that I won't get in with the wrong crowd, because I've never been one to try to fit in by doing the wrong thing, or changing who I am to make others like me. I'm morally opposed to drugs and alcohol so I don't think that that will be a problem either.

After all of the things that worry me make way for the more positive things, I'm really excited for college. It's a new chapter in my life. The beginning of me becoming a contributing member of society. I don't know for sure what I want to be yet, but I have time. I was talking to my cousin in law the other day, and he told me that he changed his major three times while he was in college. So when I hear things like that I know that I'll be fine.

Thanks for reading this if you did. It was more for me to put all of it down somewhere to better understand it, so sorry if it's confusing.