Why Do We Do It?

When you think about it, life is a lot like golf. Most of the time you suck at it, and you convince yourself that you'll never play again, because of this intense hate you've found for the game. But then you hit a shot that make the whole day of bad golf worth it. There is a saying: Those are the shots that keep you coming back to the game.

I think that this quote can be applied to life as well. If you really think about it, and are completely honest with yourself, you spend most of your life troubled. I mean let's face it the bad things are what make the whole experience. Would you want to spend your whole life having everything you every wanted? No, of course you don't, because then you would have nothing to be proud of, nothing that you accomplished, nothing you could look at and say to the guy next to you, "Do you see that? Well I made that." The struggles believe it or not are the selling points of life.

With all of the bad going on in life it's the good things that keep you going. They're the shots that keep ya comin' back for more. When life has got you down and you think that things will never look up, life tends to find a way to break the mean steak. It hand you something and says: "Here you go, you deserve this more than anyone else." Those are the moments we witness, when a grown man has faced adversity his whole life to the point of being emotionally immune. But when the nurse brings in his new born son he's brought to tears by the shear joy of this new life.

Now I do believe in a divine spirit, and I know a lot of people don't, but when you witness something like this it's hard to believe that there isn't something or someone up there smiling down on us.

My uncle who was in Vietnam, recently professed his love for his wife in front of an entire congregation at his church. I was lucky enough to have been there to see it. They say that the young men who were in Vietnam are now incapable of showing emotion, but they didn't see my uncle pouring his heart out in front of all of these people, weeping tears of joy. That day he brought all of the people there watching to tears with him, it was truly a spiritually eye opening event for me.

That's why we live our lives, for moments like that.

One Giant Puzzle

Society is one giant puzzle, and all of the people are the pieces. I always thought that I was lucky because I knew what I wanted to do when I got older. You see, when I was in seventh grade I broke my neck, and because of that and because of all the things I went through during that time I decided to become a physical therapist. Until recently I had no reason to waver from the path I was on.

Things began to change for me, all of my ideals were being challenged and I didn't know what to think any more. I starting reading, but not the kind of reading I was used to. I was reading magazine articles, books and and other things about current events so that I could begin to shape the person I'm going to become.

I guess you could trace it back to the election. I wasn't old enough to vote, but I was taking an interest in the campaigns of all the major candidates. My parents disagree on the political playing field. My mom is a right wing conservative, while my dad is an independent who tends to side with the liberal agenda. Now before this election I really had no reason to be interested in politics, because, well let's face it when you're that young you have better things to do. Well this election was different, i wanted to have an opinion, I wanted to get involved, but where could I get one? I could go with my dad I thought, but that just didn't appeal to me so I decided to form my own opinion completely free of both parents.

That's when it happened I guess. I would read an article about what one candidate thought on an issue, and I would click on the various links and read those articles as well. It turned into one giant mold that I was trying to fill with all of my ideals and to eventually become my own person.

It sounds like a cliché, that everyone wants to know where they fit in the world, but I've come to realize that it's a big question you have to ask yourself when you're ready to experience the world. Who am I and where do I fit in the world?

I'm still searching for my future self, I'm going to take it one book, article, and lecture at a time until I meet the man I will become. It's something that I feel very strongly about, and I want to know if any one else is going through what I am, comment if you are.